This note is in response to a few people asking me how all of this new ‘stuff’, this healing gift came to be. The question generally comes from those who knew me ‘way back when’ and the idea of who I was in the past meshing with the new just doesn’t seem to connect.
How did all of this come about? The short answer is, “I don’t have any idea.” Truly. I don’t know why I was chosen. I don’t know why now is the time I was let in on it. I’ve not been on a spiritual quest like so many others. I’ve had no desire to travel to far-off mountains to meditate with yogis, go to church (although I have). I have, at times, bought book (after book after book) looking for ‘something’. For answers to questions I didn’t really have and realizing, “Oh. Wait. I knew that.”
Like others, my now has grown from my story. Like many other folks called Lightworkers mine wasn’t particularly pretty. I walked through my fire early and often. And I dealt with the fallout in a myriad of ways. Some healthy. Some notsomuch. Bouts of depression, diagnoses of PTSD, attempts at therapy, burnout at work (more than once) coupled with some pretty amazing people in my life–some who only popped in briefly to lead me here–have, well, led me here.
When, despite hearing that I was ‘just damaged goods’ all too often, I decided there was nothing freakin’ wrong with me, there was, magically, nothing wrong with me. I took other people’s labels, gave them the proverbial finger, and decided “I’m not the next of them, I am the first of me” (line borrowed from Hoobastank). The timing of this coincided with a trip back to VA in September ’07 that ultimately opened the door to my permanent move back here a couple of months later.
That ‘trigger’ led to me “seeing” things differently. Amazingly more different than I’d experienced life before. My awareness of all things changed. I changed. Since then, I’ve just ‘known’ stuff. Amazing stuff. Stuff that I, well, don’t know. And, somehow, when I lost my job two Mays ago, a book crossed my desk. I’m not sure how I got it (outside of the obvious: Amazon!). I don’t know why I would have picked out a book called Quantum Touch and ordered it. But I did. I don’t know what led me to spend 250 smackers on a Quantum Touch class because I griped and moaned to myself about it. Others reminded me that I’d just been asked to resign and didn’t have an income. I mean, $250!! However, I did. And I was shown why I was led there. My ‘aha’ was an “OH!”
And then it all started to fall into place.
And answers, feelings, knowing, energy in a bazillion forms from outside of me began pouring in. Have you ever seen August Rush, the not-so-good (a stinker, really) movie about a musical prodigy who sees and hears music in everything–light, wind, leaves, sounds of the city? Well, that’s how it is with me. This healing energy, this connection to the Divine is like that for me; everywhere, every moment, every in-between breath where miracles live. And, as with the development of all things magical and odd in my life, I’ve no idea where it’s taking me. Or where it’s taking us. I just know that this is a Gift to be shared with everyone and that it’s what I’m meant to do.
I hope that answers some questions and I hope it’s a door to a wider conversation between all of us.