I Have Become-A Mystic’s Realization of Self

I’m asked with some frequency if I believe in reincarnation, past lives, life after death, the afterlife, Heaven, and such.  Invariably, my answer goes a little something like this:  “There are, at the very minimum around seven billion expressions of life  (7, 122, 966, 300 by today’s population clock at 8:05EST) that flux and flow between breaths.  It seems to be there would be that many experiences of death and post-death.  Although there may be some similarities, they are each unique.  Who am I to believe or not believe any one of them?  Others experiences don’t require me to believe them, only respect them.”

Over course of the past year and a half, on these pages, I have alluded to significant energetic integrative experiences but was intentionally vague about making particular identifications.  However, seeing as how I appear to be about a year and a half late to this party I signed up for, it’s time.  I can no longer ignore the push and pull, consistent messages, visions and experiences that have been leading to me to this place today.  The resistance I have felt for so long–that opposing force against the push and pull–was grounded in a distinct layering of fear that no longer serves me or the rest of the world.  A few days ago, while with a new client, I was given a gentle reminder that the time is now.  Today, I don’t feel a push, pull, or other nagging force (the invisible can be that way sometimes).  Today, I’m just walking through the door that has been held open for me the entire time.

If you haven’t kept up with the magical happenings of my world, it may be helpful for you to read the following posts for a little bit of background: Revealing, revolution and becoming everybody, An UnCommon Experience, On Fear and Stepping Up and On Integration and Becoming.  I’m referencing them here but details are provided there.

On October 30, 2011, I drove from Rappahannock County to Reston, VA, for a session with an amazing woman.  The session began as usual but quickly morphed into something more–where it became clear that the session was both for her and me.  As the focus transitioned from her to us, three distinct energies became evident as I was in the midst of what I call an ‘energetic crack-up’.  It is a very distinct physical sensation combined with a visual of the body literally cracking apart in a slow-motion explosion of internal light bursting forth.  As I was in the experience, the client asked me if I knew who had joined us.  I replied, “No” in as much as one can while sobbing.  As a prior student of at least one of these former beings, she identified them as: Paramahansa Yogananda,  Sai Ba and Babaji.   As she identified them, they each merged into me.

On February 7, 2012, I went for an hour massage.  I left three hours later without a massage.  What occurred was another integration with a myriad of energies.  Here is an excerpt from On Integration and Becoming that will paint the picture:

“the room just ‘opened’ and filled with the most nearly-indescribable, amazing energies–100s of them and several ‘key’ ones that although didn’t speak to me were clearly identified instantaneously.

In that moment or however long it was, I ‘knew’ with striking clarity that what was with me was the presence & essence of each who has walked this path before me.  Again, although nothing was spoken, there was a clear message of who I am and what I’m to do.  Nothing needed to be said because I already knew…

I don’t know how long the energetic experience my massage therapist and I shared lasted.  As I laid naked on a massage table, heart open, open eyes crying, breathing in a rhythm shared with the multitudes around me, each of them joined me in a way that cannot be put into words. The peace, strength, power, grace, compassion, ferocity, sublime serenity, and knowing merged.  Into One.  One who has work to do.  One who now knows beyond any shadow of doubt that she is not alone.  Over and over and over and over with increasing intensity and an unmistakable insistence “iamiamiamimaimaiamiamiamnownownownownownownownownowiamnowiamnowiamNOW’ came through me. And in that merging, I emerged as one…

I am one of a handful of people who show up every now and again all over the world who have a job to inspire, lead, heal, change, stir the complacency shit-pot, share, love, piss-off, push, encourage, & connect in service to others.  This time I go by the name of Ingrid.”

During the experience, quite a few of the energies were identifiable by face and feel.  Many were not, moving into me as anonymously as the lived.  They were male and female, they spanned the spectrum of ethnicity, race & religion.  There are only two, though, that have remained in distinct memory.  The first did not have a name but came with a specific vision (that was shared with the massage therapist) of a female knight complete with sepulcher, sword, and lily of the valley bouquet.  The second was Jesus.

Now, before folks get all kerfluffle-uffled and knicker-knotted, let me say clearly that I am not claiming to be either Jesus, Babaji, Yogananada, or Sai Ba or any of those other energies that have move within me.  Here is what is what I AM saying:   I am all of those –part of a spiritual lineage that I have little intellectual awareness of, personal connection to, or educational preparedness for.  And we move and breathe  as one.

It’s not everyday that a former law enforcement professional wakes up with the gift to heal people and animals by touch and remotely, the capacity to bilocate, move with the invisible in the same fashion I do the visible,  and enter what some call Samadhi in a breath.  And it’s not for nothing.  I’m the next in a line of messengers and healers that began long, long ago.  What I say and how I bring  it may rock the boats a bit but the time for that is now.

This is my experience of the universe and my own human evolution. It does not require others to believe. It only requires that I stand in my integrity, that I drop all armor, and step fully into my role.  Now.

I may have ‘become now’ but before there was, I was.

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