Throwing a Temper Tantrum

So far today I have:  done the crazy white chick “OHYES!!” dance for somebody; instructed someone to have a literal (yes, as opposed to figurative) temper tantrum; and told another to get off their arse.

Oh, and told myself to do the same–the arse, not the tantrum.  I already did that.

In fact, if you’re stuck in the suck, I highly recommend it. Having a private tempter tantrum is brilliant on a number of levels:   Need release?  That’ll do it.  Need to speak your piece?  This is the opportunity.  Need to laugh at yourself?  Think about yourself rolling on the floor of the candy aisle.

The whole thing goes a little like this:

Recognize that life includes the nitty, gritty, dirty, funky-dunky, the “I’m really an extraordinary human who experiences the suck”.  And it sucks.  There’s no need to put lipstick on it, to speerchulize (my own made up word.  I couldn’t hep mysef.)  You can try to tell yourself that “In the now, all is well.”  Sometimes it just not. It’s not well. There’s no need to deny, to be pretty about it, ignore it or wish it away.  Life is as life is.  Sometimes it comes up all roses and sometimes the fucking unicorn has projectile diarrhea.

And, so, here’s the ticket:  Throw a bloody fucking tantrum.  Employ that inner child; she needs to earn her keep, you’ve been carrying her around for a while.  Get real, get snotty, be fucking angry because shit isn’t fair, you deserve extra bloody credit, you give to every fucking body else and don’t get crap; curse, stomp, pretend your in the candy store and you can’t get what you want.  Beg, kick, scream, whine, pout, sulk. Bury your under head a blanket and don’t come out except to pee.  Watch a cheesy soap opera in the middle of the day in defiance of your rules, the universe’s assholishness.

Be in it until you are done with it.

Until just when you’re pretty sure you’re starting to smell like the funk your in.

And, I’m not speaking metaphorically here.  I really actually mean every word.  Put this into action, not inertia.  Start with this kind of release. Don’t think about it, don’t judge it, don’t analyze it.  Just do it until you’re ready to leave that inner child at the curb for someone else to pick up.

I double-freaking-dog dare you.

Then, get back to me in a couple of days.


2 thoughts on “Throwing a Temper Tantrum

  1. When I would hit my thumb with a hammer I would say, “God damn hammer.” Now I just laugh….sending the hammer to hell is just silly…. and I laugh…and my thumb still hurts. Dan

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