The Money Matters post generated some interesting discussion on Faceplace. I’ve cut and pasted to encourage discussion here.
Lovely lady Number 1: as you know, I share your feelings and understand this “suffering.” It’s definitely an interesting bag of emotions. I’ve offered hundreds of dollars in free services especially for horses in need because it felt right. I also wonder if this is setting me up energetically to receive what I believe I am worthy of, i.e., non-compensation. Certainly lots of discussion and perspectives here but I am a believer in an exchange of SOME energy in return for the gifts we all received from Creator.
Me: Energy is just energy. Energy doesn’t require a quid pro quo, we do. There is no inherent requirement of ‘you do x’ then you are worthy or able to receive. So, if you wonder if you are setting yourself up to not get paid “energetically”, try asking this: when you share your services out of love, ‘because it feels right’, do you feel the same way? Or is it only when you’re afraid you don’t have ‘enough’ or aren’t ‘enough’ that the gerbil sneaks in? In the moment of loving, what does it feel like? It’s quite simple to ask yourself if you’re ‘energetically setting yourself up for the universe to not recognize your value because you do what feels right?
Lovely Lady Number 1: Good points
Me: I think ‘should we get paid for our work’ is the wrong question to be asking if it’s being framed in how we perceive our self worth. I can only speak for myself but I don’t feel of any less value when I give the last two bucks in my wallet to the homeless vet than I do when I work for free. I KNOW the value of my work and while earning income from it is a great thing, I know, too, that the value of the work for others is more than money can buy. It is the highest expression of love there is in human form. Love doesn’t have a price tag, the disappearance of illness doesn’t have one (although the medical industry would like us to think so), the immediate awakening of psychic and healing gifts is priceless. My working with those at their most vulnerable, who happen to be poor, is no different than giving the homeless dude a couple of bucks. It’s merely an extension of my presence. Do I need a waiting list for the free work? Sure. I’ll make exceptions. Might there be people who believe that, because I do free work, the work itself is less valuable? Nope. They won’t cross my path.
I think it very interesting how folks determine what kind of giving is admirable and what is a reflection of low self worth. That’s not a judgment I would ever place on anyone else. That one is perpetuated as more ‘spiritual’ than the other is a notion that confounds me.
Lovely lady Number 1: Appreciate your perspective
Me: And, to me, through the lens of how we create & support those who have less than we do: when we place that judgement on one person, we place it on everyone. So, my next question for anyone who reading this, is this: if we place the ‘value’ of people or ‘right’ service, in terms of sharing only for compensation, are we perpetuating the mindset that keeps poor people isolated, without having their needs met because they don’t have perceived value?
I’m reminded of Katherine Kuhlman’s experience as a child of coming upon a tent revival sort of thing. What she remembered of the experience was the preacher sharing that for someone to be abundant–spiritually & financially–they needed to put plenty in the offering plate because that’s how Jesus would know they loved him. And, in return, as the message was shared, he’d be kind enough to love them back and, of course, that’s how they’d be worthy of abundance.
Luci Erisman: great conversation. I’m struggling with this issue now. I know in the past I’ve let money define my sense of security and I’m currently working with the “fuck it” attitude toward my fears. Money had come to be the great symbol of success and security for me – the fear of lack driving me to terrible career choices. I’m in the process of realigning what success and security really is – and they have so little to do with money.
One question though – do you think success in one part of your life precludes success in another? I’m very successful in the relationships/love area of my life – not so much the money/career side of things. But maybe I’m just setting things up that way for myself. After all, I grew up with a mother who hated wealthy people for some reason. I mean really, really hated them.
Me: I think we really need to have these conversations over and over again. While I think there is a certain ‘value’ (HA!) to the idea how we esteem ourselves *can* be reflected in how we provide/accept payment for our services. We all have met people who don’t recognize their personal value play out in other ways, right? Say, for instance, their health or potentially dangerous lifestyle choices. Why not in this manner? BUT, I don’t see it as a finite reason as to why things *are*. Again, there is no ‘law’ about this that humans haven’t created. To broaden this a bit to try to answer Luci‘s question: I think it depends on how we define success. That may, at least in some part, be impacted by what we learn from our parents. Like if our mother taught us to hate wealthy people and wealth, we *might*, too, hate wealthy people and wealth. In my view, I don’t believe that because we have that experience we are ‘set up’ to not have money. That’s right up there w/ all the false notions of welfare queens and crack babies and that if we are Spiritually Gifted, we shouldn’t charge at all. I was beaten for opening a piggy bank to count my haul as a child. Has that kept me from being ‘abundant’ or held me back from helping anyone in need? uh. no. When my mother associated withdrawing money for books and such in college with me being a whore & drug dealer, did that attach somehow and impart a subconscious idea that I wasn’t worthy of having money? uh no. And even though I later made quite a bit of cash moving some substances of the not-so-legal variety ( that’s another story), she didn’t plant that seed either. My value as being Ingrid *and* value of the gift I choose to share with wealthy and notsowealthy aren’t determined by anyone else. My bank account might but my value AND my right to receive help because I’m a little on the po’ side of things are not. At least in my view.
Luci: Thank you. I see now I need to ‘unlock’ myself from my blame game and do the hard work of examining my own feelings to money. I intellectually recognize that money is only a place marker, but my soul ain’t felling that yet!
Me: I know that when I say no to others when I am in the position to help them, I diminish all that I am. I’ve also learned that receiving help physically, mentally, spiritually is our birthright. I shared this conversation in person with someone earlier this afternoon. She, in turn, told me about a friend of hers–also a gifted healer–who used to do free and reduced fee work. She finally had to stop because, for her, it didn’t work. I hope I never have to stop serving those in need who can’t pay. I don’t have a definition of success but I can tell you that if I end up doing that, I’ll not be successful in any fashion.
Luci: That first sentence needs to go one one of your memes. “when I say no to others when I am in the position to help them, I diminish all that I am”
Me: As I was having a pee, this dawned on me: 1) I don’t view this from a business perspective related to value, I view it as a gift that is meant for everyone; and, 2) my perspective comes because it’s not about *my* value but how I value others. There is no one I could say out loud to: “You don’t enough value to receive this” or “You’re too poor to receive this”. I could certainly never say, “Because your cash is a little low, you’ve no right receive this”.
And, it breaks my heart that someone would feel any of the above statements were true of themselves.
Me again: And, of course, on the other end of things there are those who wouldn’t come see me (or someone else) but would save and go see the $400 per 30 minute celebrity because of the perceived value in that. We are very interesting folks, us humans. Good thing we’re kinda cute, too!
What are your thoughts about this?