The Love Lobotomy

“In a society at war with man and nature, a religion of peace and love might be fantasized into creed, rituals & otherworlds while it’s professed adherent continue to live [in a way that doesn’t support it]. ~ Jim Corbett (Goatwalking)

“Everything is Love” is a mantra that’s begun to grate on my nerves.  It’s achieved a cult-like status with millions of people, variations shared ad nauseum, memeified with pretty pictures via social media.  It’s surpassed ‘group think’ guided by a guru (or two) and segued into a something resembling mass hypnosis & contagious complacency. Except the behaviors we exhibit in oversharing online are not mimicked in the physical, public space.

Second-hand thought (see Ayn Rand’s Fountainhead for a good definition & description), is, essentially “thought based not on direct sensory experience but on assumptions, teachings passed down by others.” It’s a lot like sensory deprivation.  Intentionally, albeit not consciously by the consumer, stunting our vision and growth.  We lose creativity, the knowing of real connection, openness, access to all that surrounds us–like a lobotomy.

To me, the notion that “Everything is Love” is nothing more than a panacea–a proverbial pill–that inhibits real exploration of self and the world, an experience of the interconnectedness of things within and without us.  Especially in this New Age/transmodern melange of metaphysics, self-help and spiritualit-y & -isms framed loosely by interconnectedness, by being One.

I mean, we all want to acknowledge being connected to things that feel and appear loving, loveable, lovely.  However, the notion of being connected to infanticide, fear, rage, paraphilias, betrayals, massacres, starvation, torture, other forms of cruelty (never mind recognizing our responsibility for and in response to those things) or perceived negative behaviors & actions with which the world turns isn’t our cup of tea.

To me, the over-simplistic notion that every thing (think about it: there are somewhere between 3 and 100 millions species–the specific is certainly arguable amongst most scientists–but there are about 4000 species of aphids alone) is any one thing is what contributes to what I call contagious complacency.

All of life and the myriad of systems that create and move it are intricate, inter-related and so complex that most cannot ‘see’ or sense it, much less grasp it intellectually or logically.  I don’t understand the need or desire to simply things in such a manner.  I know that slicing and dicing things into smaller bits makes them more digestible but when ease of digestion is passed as universal truth and eaten up, well…

There is no shortcut.  There may never be a way to describe the wholeness of life but to ignore the dirty, nasty, funky, skunky, for the light and airy (or ambiguously defined ‘love’ that’s not that love) does the every one and thing a great disservice.

Love is a magnificent foundation for every being. I’d say it is the foundation from whence we begin, initially as much of us as star dust.But it requires more action than ‘share’ or ‘like’. Rather than being shelved in a personal museum, love requires conscious engagement, even if it is with or for ourselves. That matters, too.

Don’t send love. Love. Create it, nurture it. Say it!  Say it to yourself! Practice in front of the mirror until you’re comfortable with. Accept it when it comes your way-without judging it’s deliverer or your perceived unworthiness. It doesn’t need to be held tenderly or meticulously folded into a small corner of your world, our world. It is a powerful force beyond your fear of feeling. You’ll never understand the Everything or the One without it.



Star Stirring

In the light,
my hair looks like
It’s been streaked
by fire.

I wonder what
it’ll be like
after its tendrils
have stirred
the stars.

For the Love of a Girl with a Pink Rose in Her Hair

Her name isn’t Asifa

Though it could be. She could be eight years old, too.

She likes to fuss over her own hair, the rose placed just so. Not the rough, any ol’ way She does.

She might be ten. That rose makes her feel pretty.

Until the pretty of the pink gains weight as the head is bowed between another’s to take


a breath


To be parted like that is to

be scalped

By the highest bidder

Who likes them young enough to bend but not break

The spirit…

Of that little girl. She waits.

Asifa, Layla, Paula, Patrice, Denitra, the young might-be-a-little-Frida.

They could be. They Were.

They are no longer.

Sold to the highest bidder.

Sold out to the gravest sin.

For a bottom dollar,

no longer.

But still a vision with a pink rose in her hair.

Why are you anti-meditation?

It’s not so much that I’m ‘anti-meditation’. Meditation can mean different things to different people. There are a multitude of ways to do it. I just don’t. Meditation, even in terms of quieting the mind, works for many people at a variety levels. And if it works for them, brilliant.

Here, though, is why I encourage people to either not meditate OR to include an exercise other than meditation as mind-quieting:

I think people should actually pay attention to their thoughts, what they might otherwise think of ‘just noise’ in their head. To me, the business of quieting the mind without understanding what’s going on in it serves little purpose.

Is there value in what I call a ‘no think’ state of mind (yes, that word was chosen on purpose)? Absolutely. I’m in it a good chunk of the time-sometimes through a brief conscious effort, sometimes I stay there for days (that makes it difficult to get ‘sponsible stuff done, though.  Such is the life of the Misfit Mystic!)  Is there value in getting quiet and being still? Damn skippy.

Our minds are very busy things. They keep the body running (a feat of such magnitude its hard to imagine), help us interpret the world around us, keep us safe, process data and experience, help us determine actions, engage all of our senses, weigh us down, create patterns and all sorts of other niftyness.

I just happen to think that mindfulness should be turned onto the mind. When clients are laying on the table they will sometimes say, “I can’t turn my mind off. How do I do that?” When I respond with a ‘why’, generally speaking, the response is, “Well, I’m supposed to. Right?”

My reply is usually something along these lines: “No. How about not caring about what your mind is doing? Why not consider that, in all the stuff running around in there, there is a something for you? Why not pay attention to the thoughts as they come? Why not let them come and go without, well, thinking about them? Why not, if  you choose to pay attention to them, decide if they are yours or not? If you need them?”   I add more specific information and guidance when working with psychic empaths who are beginning to engage their gift.

There are a lot of things running around in our head that do not serve us. There is no need for them to take up space & awareness & energy. You know your gerbils well. Those repetitive, looped thoughts that go around and around, like a gerbil on its wheel in the middle of the night?

We have the control over those but first we have to recognize them. Before we can squish the gerbil, we have to understand if it’s ours: is it a thought of our own generation-did we create it,or did someone else plant the seed for it?

When we know the difference and are willing to address our own thoughts, stories, patterns of response (and those of others) honestly, we can kick the gerbil straight off the wheel. Our make take a few times to break the habitual reliance on the thought pattern but it can quickly go.

Recognizing & paying attention to what is happening in our minds allows us to hear and know ourselves.


Kermit and the Dalai Lama

Kermit-the-FrogWhile enjoying my snow day with high-speed internet, full power coffee, and fuzzy socks, I trolled my FB stream.  Usually, because my interwebz access is rather limited, I hop on and off so today was a treat.  I even kinda, sorta like recycled photos and quotes that I’ve seen in the past.

I can’t remember who posted it but one of the recycled was a photo of a cross-legged Kermit quoting the Dalai Lama:  “Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.”  I like all things Kermit.  I like and have a lot of respect for the Dalai Lama.  I’m going to differ with his thought about how others effect us, though.

I think there are times when we really need other’s behavior to bother us.  We need to be SO bothered that we stand up and shout, “STOP”!  We need to be SO bothered that we moved from complacency to action–whether it is a change in our own behavior or to creating change for someone else.

It’s one thing to not take some things personally.  It’s another to not take things personally enough.

We are responsible.  For ourselves and each other.


“…night is here but the barbarians have not come.
And some people arrived from the borders,
And said that there are no longer any barbarians.

And note what shall become off us without any barbarians?
Those people were some kind of solution.”

Constantine Cavafy, Waiting for the Barbarians

My Prayer

Maybe, somewhere burbling within I do have a message.  I dunno.  Here’s what came through today.

My prayer is that you hear the Divine both within the silence and a child’s laughter.

That you see the Divine in both yourself and another;

That you touch the Divine through a blade of grass and the cool of running water;

That you feel the Divine in the wind and the touch of a lover;


that you know the Divine in the mirror.