“If you want peace of mind, I suggest you resign as manager of the Universe.”

That line comes from Dan Millman’s Sacred Journey of the Peaceful Warrior.  Here, Mama Chia is reminding Dan that really, seriously, we don’t need to do anything. Period.

It annoys us humans–particularly those w/ amazing gifts, to think that we don’t need to, or in fact, should not DO something.  I bring this up because as England burns amid other violence, there has been a repeated call among those of the proclaimed Lightworker (I’m really not quite sure what that means these days) persuasion that we must intervene, must heal the situation. In addition, there are organizations who have created for themselves the purpose of interrupting, intervening, ‘transmuting’ political systems, economic institutions, and other foundations of countries and entire regions.

This is a reminder that there are processes, systems, billions of people, mysteries, and a bigger picture involved than anyone can really grasp.  Some may have a distinct ‘sense’ of it but not hold a true understanding of: a) what is really happening, and b) how interference in those things can cause harm to others no matter the original, personal intent. It’s uncomfortable to know that these same processes, systems, people, mysteries, and other unknowns are working themselves out in their own way and maybe not to our liking. But our liking isn’t the point.  Each person involved in the aforementioned is working himself out in his own way and influencing those around him.  It is not for us to decide what’s good or unnecessary and change the ripple effect of or for others.

We quite often forget that this is about us.  Us, first.  It appears that, even for those who claim to be more ‘developed’, it is much easier to identify (subject to our own definition, of course) something or someone else in the world that ‘is wrong’ and try to ‘heal’ or ‘fix’ it rather than focus on ourselves  My request to those healers, transmitters, foundations that we truly do that and rather than intervening in things around us, we work within and help in matters rather than ‘heal’ those that don’t fit into how we think the world should/would/could  be/behave/process.  Get active in politics if you want to change political systems.  Get involved with your local police force or corrections system if you want to see that change.  Participate in the opportunities there are to feed and comfort others, create ones that don’t exist if that is your calling.  Bail someone out of jail. Mentor a child or two. Help another rebuild their home. Put compassion to work in things that you can influence.

As further food for thought, I share this from Frank DeMarco’s “I of my own knowledge” here: http://bit.ly/oaj8gR   A snippet here:

“Everybody to his own work. What is one person’s true work is another’s evasion.

Here is your dilemma, and it is the dilemma people of good will must always face. Whatever your intentions, your ability to change the way things are is going to be limited…

Life is vastly too big for anyone to comprehend…

So, if you are tempted to abandon your siege of a hencoop to march off to a pretended siege of Babylon, remember that only you are created able to do your work. And what is your work? It is to be present to your opportunities and problems, and make of them what you will. For some it is the expansion of their awareness along social lines. For others, it is the absorption of patterns. For still others it may be the dissemination of insight or learning. For others, it is the day-to-day execution of defined responsibilities. How are you going to say that any of these life’s paths is wrong? How can you know how any one is going to react with others? The short answer is that you can’t and no one can. And, since it can’t be done, obviously it can’t be the path.

Live your own life; and live it your way.”

And Be while letting others do the same.

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A Taste of my own Medicine, Self-Worth & Pissin’ People Off

Every now and again, I feel the need to get a taste of my own medicine.  When I do that, I click around and find out when and where Panache Desai is going to be.  This time it was Black Mountain, North Carolina.  What’s little road trip?  Only seven hours between here and there, right?  Yup.  Something like that.  Seven hours to drive for an energetic ass-kicking.

Let me divert a bit with a little back-story. I first saw Panache about a year ago.  He ‘accidentally’ showed up on my computer screen.  Riiiiight.  You know how I feel about ‘accidents’, right?  I knew in less than an instant that I needed him like I needed air.  I drove like a bat out of hell for 14 hours to St. Petersburg, FL, to the Unity Church there to see him.  I sat. Looked around at the eclectic crowd and tried not to fidget (remember how I have to practice patience?).  When he began speaking I almost fell over.  He was using the same language, the exact same words I did while working, the language that others thought I channeled.  I was brilliantly relieved and tickled that I wasn’t alone.  Then, he started doing his thing.  He wandered around the room touching folks and when he finally got to me, I was just ‘struck’.  That’s the only way I know how to describe it except to add that in one moment, in less than a second, I just ‘knew’.  I knew everything.  I knew that what I’d begun doing a few months beforehand had little to do with healing torn rotator cuffs and a lot with changing the world.  All in a flash of light (although that doesn’t quite describe it) and presence that moved in and through me in a split second.  And, then, it was all I could do to not interrupt the still, meditative manner that others had settled into without laughing hysterically!  Guffawing, snarfing, snorting…the whole shebang.

The mystical experiences clients had been describing to me finally made sense.  Those may have made sense but the “holy shit” factor remained at the forefront of my brain all night.  The 14 hour drive back to Virginia was filled with self-conversation that went something like this: “Oh. Shit.”  “Holy CRAP!”  “HOLY crap!” “Whatthehellisthatallabout!”  “Crappity, crap, crap, crap!!”  “Damn, there’s responsibility here!” “Now what the fuck do I do with that bit of information?”   Enough that the chatter sent me straight to the computer before the bathroom (after 14 hrs on the road, no less) to send an email that said, essentially, “Holy crap.  Now what the hell do I do?”  The response, bless him, was, “Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

Moving back on track to this summer’s trip.  Only 7 hours, not 14. And I knew what I was getting into.  Didn’t feel the ‘need’ but wanted to feel what others feel through me.  A reminder, really, of what we’re about. As far as I know, he and I are the only ones that work in this strange and usual fashion (odds are, though, that if there are two of us, there are bound to be more around the globe).  What’s a state line or two between us, I thought?  So I went.

Hauled ass (safely, of course!) through the heart of Virginia into some of North Carolina’s finest spaces.  The two-hour session on Friday evening was nice.  I was tired and it was a great way to end a day of travel.  Just a nice energetic high of the warm, fuzzy kind.   On Saturday, though, initially it wasn’t.  I found myself annoyed.  Annoyed that I was listening to myself. Really annoyed.  Remember, we really do speak the same language–damn near word for word.  It was only toward the end of the day that the smack upside the head occurred.  The universal, “Yeah.  You.  You big dummy.  You ought to listen to yourself!”

A week or so before I made the run to NC, I met with a really awesome woman from Northern Virginia.  During the course of our time together I looked at her and said, “Quit being a pussy.”  (Yes, I really did. I don’t have to make any of this up, kids. These aren’t therapy sessions.  And, seriously, wouldn’t you love to hear your therapist say that?).  After listening to what Panache had to say toward the end of Saturday, I realized I’d been speaking to myself as well. I’d been settling for being a pussy.  Preaching on one hand while my other hand chose to hold me back.   Although in some respects I have behaved fearlessly, in one key aspect I had chosen not to.

Because I am ridiculously  human, I’d held onto a couple of key beliefs about myself that others had sold me on.  The primary of those (the one addressed now) was that I didn’t have value. Grounded in years of ‘stuff’, I’d held onto that notion.  And, subsequently, have lived recently as if I was of no value, as if my needs and desires, and, yes, my Gift, had no value.  I’d dealt with it at one relational level but not at another.  Silly girl.  Don’t know what I was thinking.  Actually, that’s not quite true.  What I was thinking was, “Oh.  I can’t do that. They won’t like me/come to me/value me/want me (think Sally Field) if I do …”.  In this case, ‘it’ was if I charge for my services what I need to have my own needs met.  As if it were perfectly okay for me to provide what I do for others and martyr myself in the process.

It is no longer okay for me to suffer.  It’s no longer okay for me to choose between putting gas in the car and going to the dentist. It’s no longer okay for me to be afraid of what others think of my need to take care of myself.  It is not okay for me to be afraid of every noise my car makes.  It is perfectly okay for me to want underwear that fits.  So, I’ve raised my rates.  I’ve raised them to help support both me and those who can’t afford me at any rate.  I do a lot of work for no fee at all and when I do, it’s done with love.  I choose to do that for those in need who have limited or no income because I fully believe what I call the Gift is of all of us and for all of us.   I have previously set myself up and created limitations that needn’t exist because I was afraid.  No mas.   I have desires to work with veterans groups, pay for advertising, develop a retreat center, and live on my own again.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.

There are those who will say, “Oh, there she goes. Just like all these other healer-types.  All about the money.”  Others have already come right out and said, “You can’t do that!  You can’t charge so much for something that people don’t understand!” “You can’t expect people to pay you for miracles.”   You can’t, you can’t, you can’t.  And, we all know how I feel about that.  So be it. That’s their problem, not mine.  It is up to others to decide what the value of the Gift is for them and to find the courage to say things like, “I really can’t afford more than the $60 I used pay you.”   Those who don’t pay me do that every day and, then, pay with loving kindness, chocolate cake, garden goodies, and the willingness to be open to themselves & others.

A good part of what I teach is grounded in deciding (see above). Deciding how we want to feel.  How we want to experience life.  I’ve finally decided that I want to live freely, without self-imposed limitations.  I’ve got plans and am creating a way to make them happen. I am worthy.

Shifting life and livelihood

Profound shifts in my life have occurred in the past few months.    Personal choices coupled with the change in our economy led to a lot of free time during the course of the last year.  Time that would have otherwise been spent devoted to other people’s problems or projects became time focused on me.  My needs, my wants, my way of life, and, my purpose:  the reason for being and surviving.

As I asked to be told and demanded to be shown my path, I began to move beyond merely noticing the synchronicities in my life to actually paying attention to and following them.

Although this process began long before I can actually remember, I noticed it a few years ago when I had my “God at the kitchen sink” moment.  What quickly followed that was the leaving of a husband and the comfort of the “known”, moving 1700 miles away, becoming unemployed and involved in another not-so-wise relationship, and humbly visiting the local department of social services office to ask for food stamps.

If, at any time during the course of this process (or before-hand) had anyone asked me if I’d consider myself a spiritual healer, I would have looked at them in the manner that implied a third head had sprouted from their neck!

However, truth now be told, I am a spiritual or energetic healer.  Funny that.  It took being in a place where I could hear what I needed to and engage with myself in a way I otherwise would not have to come to this odd and interesting place.   In finally finding it and developing an understanding of it–this new role I have in the world–other shifts (or gifts) have occurred as well.

Although I’ve always been intuitive at some level (I’m actually one who believes we all are), the role my intuition plays in my life has increased dramatically.  I see differently.  My physical vision is better.   There is a clarity of sight that is mirrored in my other ‘vision’ as well.  I speak differently.  I act differently.  And, according to a good friend, even my smile is different.  When I expressed that I was having a hard time articulating what changes were occurring in and around me, Mark said, “You’ve gone from being happy to finding joy.”  And, that, folks, sums it up.

I’m still an adventure-craving, travel-needing, argument-instigating, red wine-loving, occasional cigar-smoking smart-ass and firecracker full of life (and, occasionally, shit–I admit it!).  However, I’ve now recognized and begun to use what others saw in me years ago.

To facilitate the growth that continues to occur within and around me, Oliphant Consultants as it has existed will cease to exist.  I have learned an enormous amount from colleagues who became mentors and friends.  I am grateful for each opportunity that has presented itself and lessons learned from each project and program.

I will continue to support the communities with which I’ve developed a particular affinity for: law enforcement and other first responders, courts and corrections personnel as well as military servicemen/women.  However, I will be doing so in a different, more beneficial, manner for all of us.