On Being all Grow’d up and Afraid of the Dark

Yes, there are things that go bump in the night.

We’ve all seen the iphone commercial where father uses the on-phone flashlight to show his daughter that there is no monster under the bed. We’ve watched Monsters with nieces and nephews, we assuage our own children that there is nothing that can harm them on the closet, under the stairs and, often, we experience our own energies that go bump in the night.

When the lights go down, when there are no other external energies to interfere with what’s there, lurking & waiting; when there is no place or no when else to focus our own energies, there it is.

That thing. That energy that is the darker than the dark thing. That thing that we think is from the back of the closet, back of our subconscious, waaaaay way back in the beyond that we can’t otherwise see except in the night.

We make up all sorts of stories about what that thing might be: troll, terrible memory, residual abuse, demon-like attacker of the past, and ghosts of the present or future.

Night after sweaty, heart wrenching night. It.

There’s not enough exercise to exorcise it, wine to escape it, bong hits to banish it.

So, here’s the thing about that scarey thing in the dark; that energy that comes to visit you, that throws you into the throes of paralytic fear; that you’re quite sure is harboring your deepest fear because that what it breeds in your presence;  that thing that’s thick enough to be solid–a solid secret, a solid attacker.

Say this:  I see you.  I love you. 

Say this:  I see you.  I love you.

With an openness you never knew you could have in the state of fear, say this:  I see you.  I love you.

With the awe of encountering the wondrous, rather than the fear of the thing in the closet or under the bed, say:  I see you. I love you.

Release yourself into that that doesn’t look pretty to you but just wants to be seen in the same manner you do and allay that daemon. That daemon is you.

Say: I see you.  I love you.

Release the fear to know yourself.

Say I see you. I love you.

Release the fear to bring light into your long dark night.

Tonight.

I see you. I love you.

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