On Empaths Absorbing Other’s Emotions

Myth:  Empaths take on other people’s emotions and illnesses

Truth:  Empaths do not absorb other people’s shit.  We feel it.  Period.   The emotions of others aren’t contagious.  Any ‘taking on’ of has little to do with having a psychic gift and everything to do with being otherwise human.   There are plenty of people who choose to take on the Atlean task of holding the world on their shoulders who are not empaths.  And there are those who can’t bring themselves to empathize with another while wanting to appear burdened by others shit–projects, problems, whatever.  And, while there are plenty of bacteria & pesky viruses that are contagious, an empath is not going to develop cancer or IBS or mental illness by coming into contact with someone who does experience these things.  You need to worry more about the cook who doesn’t wash his hands than other people’s emotions.

Any attachments to what we feel from others are directly connected to mental & emotional processes fully connected to our own needs and desires.  Our need for inclusion, desire to help, thinking we should do something.  Our need for our own release, a desire for usefulness.  Our need to understand our ownfineselves, our desire to identify other as self. It’s a human condition that has little to do with psychic gifts.  We have the habit of making this kind of thing, well, habit.  Sisyphian, even.

That doesn’t mean, though, we aren’t impacted by the energy of others.  Not at all.  First, there’s the distinct feeling–be it an emotion or illness that we can judge how to deal with.  Second, there’s the intentional ignorance of those things.  That‘s what buggers us.  And,  that kids, is connected to the myths of empaths needing to protect themselves & to be grounded.  Those are next in this series.



“If you want peace of mind, I suggest you resign as manager of the Universe.”

That line comes from Dan Millman’s Sacred Journey of the Peaceful Warrior.  Here, Mama Chia is reminding Dan that really, seriously, we don’t need to do anything. Period.

It annoys us humans–particularly those w/ amazing gifts, to think that we don’t need to, or in fact, should not DO something.  I bring this up because as England burns amid other violence, there has been a repeated call among those of the proclaimed Lightworker (I’m really not quite sure what that means these days) persuasion that we must intervene, must heal the situation. In addition, there are organizations who have created for themselves the purpose of interrupting, intervening, ‘transmuting’ political systems, economic institutions, and other foundations of countries and entire regions.

This is a reminder that there are processes, systems, billions of people, mysteries, and a bigger picture involved than anyone can really grasp.  Some may have a distinct ‘sense’ of it but not hold a true understanding of: a) what is really happening, and b) how interference in those things can cause harm to others no matter the original, personal intent. It’s uncomfortable to know that these same processes, systems, people, mysteries, and other unknowns are working themselves out in their own way and maybe not to our liking. But our liking isn’t the point.  Each person involved in the aforementioned is working himself out in his own way and influencing those around him.  It is not for us to decide what’s good or unnecessary and change the ripple effect of or for others.

We quite often forget that this is about us.  Us, first.  It appears that, even for those who claim to be more ‘developed’, it is much easier to identify (subject to our own definition, of course) something or someone else in the world that ‘is wrong’ and try to ‘heal’ or ‘fix’ it rather than focus on ourselves  My request to those healers, transmitters, foundations that we truly do that and rather than intervening in things around us, we work within and help in matters rather than ‘heal’ those that don’t fit into how we think the world should/would/could  be/behave/process.  Get active in politics if you want to change political systems.  Get involved with your local police force or corrections system if you want to see that change.  Participate in the opportunities there are to feed and comfort others, create ones that don’t exist if that is your calling.  Bail someone out of jail. Mentor a child or two. Help another rebuild their home. Put compassion to work in things that you can influence.

As further food for thought, I share this from Frank DeMarco’s “I of my own knowledge” here: http://bit.ly/oaj8gR   A snippet here:

“Everybody to his own work. What is one person’s true work is another’s evasion.

Here is your dilemma, and it is the dilemma people of good will must always face. Whatever your intentions, your ability to change the way things are is going to be limited…

Life is vastly too big for anyone to comprehend…

So, if you are tempted to abandon your siege of a hencoop to march off to a pretended siege of Babylon, remember that only you are created able to do your work. And what is your work? It is to be present to your opportunities and problems, and make of them what you will. For some it is the expansion of their awareness along social lines. For others, it is the absorption of patterns. For still others it may be the dissemination of insight or learning. For others, it is the day-to-day execution of defined responsibilities. How are you going to say that any of these life’s paths is wrong? How can you know how any one is going to react with others? The short answer is that you can’t and no one can. And, since it can’t be done, obviously it can’t be the path.

Live your own life; and live it your way.”

And Be while letting others do the same.

What ifs and why fors…food for thought.

The other day I was struck with a string of questions.  They didn’t necessarily emerge from any real, in-depth thought.  Not things I’ve been ruminating on but they just came in a burst.  A rather long one but what are you gonna do?  Turn it off?  Methinks not.  So I put pen to paper and let it flow.

Here’s what came:

Why is it that some have such an issue with what I’ll call “just knowing” of the instant kind?  We eat like instant oatmeal, instant communications, quick meals, quickies (oh, c’mon now!), and what not, right? So, why the particular issue w/ this thing called enlightenment?  Is it because we’ve perceived it as something so special that it was attainable for only a few?  Is it because it’s not understood so therefore it cannot be?   Why is it, particularly in this age where instant gratification is sought, appreciated and expected does it seem so strange that one could see/know God, the Divine, the Essence, the Source, or themselves in one moment?

Why is it that this enlightenment or higher state of being is deemed inaccessible but for years of study or suffering, or so “special” that it can only be bestowed upon another by some Sri or Swami Justanothershmuckingituptananda?

Why is it that superfluous language is used to set us apart as some “thing” special–>particularly those of the persuasion that we’re not “just human”?

What if the whole point of this thing–this experience for which there really are no words really, truly is NOW?  Not just the being present in the moment but NOW as in this life. Here. Now.

What if our soul didn’t come back time after time until we ‘got it right’?

What if this is ‘just right’?  Just here, just now, this breath and this lifetime?

What if this is it?

What would that change for how you experienced life if you knew this life, this time was the ‘getting it right’?  Or, that this time, this life–this time in life was ‘just right’? Just the way it is?  That you are ‘just right’?  The way  you are?

Would it change your perception of past lives?  St. Peter? Pearly Gates? After life as you believe it now?

What if we all really are “just human”?   Ordinary, fleshy, brilliantly messed up humans with all the trimmings?   What if the Ascended Masters, Saints Galore and the hosts of Angels we call upon aren’t ‘out there’ surrounding us invisibly to be channeled by ‘special’ people really aren’t?  What if, because we are all connected, those qualities that we’ve projected upon these otherwise ordinary dead dudes (and dudettes) and imaginations really is simply within us all and ‘channeling’ Metratron (or whoever)  is nothing more special than speaking Truth?

Would that change your perception of you?  Your brilliant self?  How you do your ‘spiritual’ business?  How you see the psychic that does your readings? Your priest, padre, shaman, guru?  Your neighbor? Would you write your own book?  Would that change how you separate yourself from others?  Would that change your sense of your own simple, extra-ordinariness?

What if this ‘spiritual’ stuff that we think of as outside of us really isn’t?

What if it is us?  What if it is ‘just life’.  Regular, everyday life? What if knowing this is enlightenment, being ‘awake’ and engaged?

And, what if it is available to you instantly?  What if, in an instant, one breath, one sunrise, one ka-ping upside the head, one exhale you could really, truly experience the connection we have with all things, all people?  Conscious of the connection with what we choose to call Divine?  What if, in that instant you became Conscious and awoke to your own ridiculously fabulous, gloriously fucked up, magnificent, magical, amazing self? And knew you were ‘just right’ just the way you are?   What if realizing yourself is just that simple?

What if those of us who happen to be here and now w/ these “Gifts” really aren’t all that special?  What if we just happen to speak the same thing spoken by sages and mages since time began and more people can hear us now?   What if none  of us channel a damn thing that burbles out of our mouth?  What if, because it is Truth that we ‘just know’ and that everyone can ‘just know’, it isn’t that special?  What if that all we do is, well, do.  And, what if,  we realize that since we are all connected that we are responsible for more than just ourselves when we let things burble out of mouth?

What if you knew that in each breath, another was breathing with you?  What if, for a moment or two a day, you realized there was another heart beating in time with yours?

What if that is the message and it’s that simple?

What if the simplicity is that we can all ‘just know’ God, ourselves, and our connections to each other in a moment and that is all that it is about?  What if we can do it by just being here, in this lifetime, in this breath, now.  Being just a ridiculously extra-ordinary human.  By BE-ing.  Period.   No guru needed.

What if?

Inspired by a new friend and following through

Funny how the electronic age and all of it’s twits, tweets, Faces and other gizmos, whatzits, and widgets have helped morph my definition of ‘friend’.   A couple of weeks ago, I ‘met’ a woman named Shea McGuir (follow her here because she’s just that cool–@happybranding).  What’s followed is an e-conversation inspired by a few questions she posed to me.  With her permission, I’ve included parts of our conversation here for a couple of reasons.  One, she asks what others don’t and the answers may help explain things for them.  And, two, Shea’s asking of just a few questions has inspired a bit of writing that I’d not had recently. Heck, I’d not had at all.  Her inspiration has led me to do something really whacky like take my own advice and do the same homework assignment I give others: Write.  Period. Just write.  Whuddathunkit?

Shea: Hi Ingrid. I just peeked at your website and am very curious about your gift! When did you discover this? Is it energy work? Psychic? Did you have a Kundalini awakening? A lightning bolt?

My first response (w/ some editing):  This week got a little nutty toward the end and making time to type just didn’t happen!  So, I’m not quite sure where to begin w/ all of this.  On that note, I’m just going to let the fingers flow and if it starts to wander, I promise it will connect back!

Anywho–you asked about a Kundalini awakening.  I’m not sure if you can call it that primarily because there are so many explanations of the experience that I’m not sure where, or, if, I fit into that. And, to top it all off, I’ve not adhered to a ‘practice’ of any kind.  Ever.  What has come to the forefront for me in terms of ‘healing’ or ‘lightworking’ or however you want to define it wasn’t in my realm of experience at all until very recently.  Eighteen months ago tops.  In fact, until only a few months ago, it wasn’t a conscious exercise at all.  That changed with my first interaction w/ Panache Desai (google him & you’ll hit his website).
Getting to him, though, and connecting to what I call the Gift began when I was a kid.  I just didn’t know it.   I’ve been an empath all my life.  Something I knew-sorta- but didn’t know how to communicate with others.  In addition to living w/ childhood psychic abilities I lived with a very brutal mother.  I was physically, mentally, and emotionally brutalized until I went to college at 17.   My first suicide attempt was as a toddler.  And several occurred after that as I grew up.  Obviously, though, I’m still here.  I also experienced a series of six car wrecks that should have put my bod in the ground.  And, yet here I am.   I began questioning sometime in that whole mess o’ crap why I was here.  I’d scream, cry “Why I am here?!”  “What the fuck are you doing this to me for?!”  But just kept plugging along. And, at each crisis would ask the same thing but life went on.  I graduated finally, began work in the mental health field, transitioned to criminal/juvenile justice, partied hard, worked harder, and then got married.
The marriage was the catalyst for the current path.  You know how folks complain about their partner changing once they got married?  That happened to me. A 180 degree turn in personality, behavior, etc on the part of the hubs.  The short version of that is that I knew I had to leave w/in a year of getting married but didn’t for 2.5 more.  My leaving was part conscious decision and part a push from something outside of me. I didn’t connect to it at the time but that’s how it played out.  When I left, I came to VA putting 1700 miles between me and the now ex.  What occurred after was the creation of a fairly clear path for me that, somehow, I knew to pay attention to.  Again, I’ve no background in spiritual anything but just ‘knew’ to pay attention.  The synchronicities around me were just blatant.  Everything from people I met to a ‘for rent’ sign in just the right place to…you name it, it happened.
I also began experiencing very odd intuitive things that were particularly acute when related to my physical safety.  For instance, I was driving a friend to a doctor’s appointment one day and just got this very strange sensation that the ex was coming after me.  Out of the blue, I just ‘knew’.  I called a couple of friends and asked for some clarification to make sure I wasn’t just making it up and the confirmed it (one a psychic and one the neighbor who was to watch his cat while he was out of town!).  Odd, no?  Other stuff like that but not nearly as dramatic.  Visits in the night  from what others might call spirits, poltergeist activity (for a few weeks, my bed would shake me awake in the morning.  Not in the TV/Movie violent way but in a gentle, “Hey, get your booty moving” kind of way.)  I had strange physical things occur that might otherwise be related to disease or mental illness but I just knew they weren’t–what appeared to be anxiety/panic attacks, mystery pains, a couple of instances of what a MH clinician would call dissociation where, while awake, I (or components of me) separated from myself (an odd way to have a dinner out!!), etc.
When I finally settled here into my first home, I went to the local metaphysical shop and asked the owner if he knew person who did readings and he referred me to a woman who gave me my first reiki session.  During that session, all sorts of things happened. I levitated, she clearly sensed and then saw St. Michael (who I’ve always associated w/ because he’s the protector for those in law enforcement (a community I worked w/ very closely for many years) and Kwan Yin with me.  At the time, I didn’t know really who that was. I mean, I’d obviously heard of her but didn’t know anything about her.  Anyhow, Patricia asked me after the session how I felt.  I just looked at her and said, “I think you just woke me up!”  And, I had no idea what I even meant.   Afterwards,  my vision changed.  Notsomuch physically but deeper than that.  I just ‘saw’ differently.  And the other stuff continued in very odd ways.  I have to add that during all of this I was never afraid.  Fear didn’t even enter my mind.
At the time I was doing intensive in-home mental health work for a local for-profit agency and also ‘just knew’ when I was going to get canned.  I was in a position to use the court system to get a local department of human services to act for a child’s welfare and my bosses didn’t like the political repercussions.  So, I got sacked.  I got fired and found myself doing the “Now what the hell am I doing?”
When you’ve got nothing but time on your hands, a lot of strange things can happen.  Mine strangeness just was more extraordinarily odd than others, I think.  At one point, while laying on the couch doing the dozing in front of the TV thing, I got a ‘ping’ at the crown of my head.  Seriously.  Like an invisible someone gently (well, not really) hit my skull.  Right at the sweet spot.
Then, somehow, a book called Quantum Touch ended up on my desk.  I mean, I had to have ordered it.  I know that.  However, I don’t know why I’d have been interested in that at all.  Again, nowhere on my radar, really.  Then, interested enough, I signed up for a class.  I bitched and moaned the entire time.  I was unemployed, how the heck was I going to cover the $250, what the hell was I wasting my Saturday for…  Silly me.    Within 10 mins I ‘got it’. Within one class, I knew that ‘modality’ and ‘rules of engagement’ didn’t apply to me, too.  I ‘just knew’.  And, I started playing w/ the energy.  Healing the dog. Working on a friend’s torn rotator cuffs and other odd stuff w/ miraculous results.  Eventually word of mouth had others trickle in to me.  Those on a similar path in many respects and those w/ physical/mental health issues.  And they’d attempt to explain to me their experiences but couldn’t.  I had no frame of reference until this summer when I went to see Panache.  Similar to the book incident, I’ve no idea how he hit my radar but he did.  I knew that I needed him as much as I needed air. I ‘just knew’.  I drove like a bat out of hell for 14 hrs, saw him, turned around and came home.  What happened in the few minutes of contact w/ him was the ‘taste of my own medicine’ that taught me what I’m to do, showed me the importance and responsibility connected to it.
And, there you have it!  There’s more to it, really, but so much of this is ‘that for which there are no words’.
Recently, the energies flowing in and around me have begun to intensify significantly.  I shimmer when still, feel as if levitating, become ‘formless’ (I don’t know how else to explain it!), become paralyzed (wrong word, but again, don’t know how else to describe it), spontaneous stuff that occurs during sessions w/ people.  I’ve had the opportunity for a second person to sit in on individual sessions and observe.  During it, I ‘disappear’–become nothing more than bright light.  When I’m really still and go to what I call ‘no think’, I sense it happening as well.  Odd, indeed.   That coupled with the things that I say that I’m pretty sure aren’t of me (either that or they are latent w/in me and just wait for the opportunity to slip out!) seem to have me in the unlikely role of spiritual healer and teacher (although the ‘spiritual’ bit of that sometimes irks me!)
So, that’s how all this came about.  Or, at least the best way I can explain it.  At this point, I just bumble along thru it and try to maneuver through both worlds w/ something that resembles gracefulness.   I’m expecting to hear, “We’ve been waiting for you” at some point (although, I do hear it in my head every now and again).
Not sure what this is really all about or why.  I’m just riding it to see what happens and trying to get this magical,  mysterious thing out of the ‘woo-woo’ world and into the mainstream!
Thanks for asking me to tell you about.  This is the first time I’ve really ever put it into words before.  It’s strange reading it back to myself.  If you don’t mind, I might add to this to sort of fill in the blanks for myself.  If I were disciplined at all, I’d keep writing in the journal but…what can I say!  I’m grateful for the opportunity this provided.
Shea: But wow. Your story is crazy. I know you said you didn’t feel any fear, but what an experience… Trying to decipher this stuff as it’s happening? And trying to figure that stuff out mostly by yourself? No wonder you were like, “why are you doing this to me!” Crap, sister! I looked up Quantum Touch. Is this the approach that you’ve been using? Do people come to you with specific problems? And, can you sense/see/feel the difference between the presenting symptoms and the root cause? Maybe that question is too head-oriented. I’m just curious. Do you get words or other information to go with your physical experience of doing work on people?
Me: Quantum Touch was just the class I took.  I got really, uber-annoyed when after the class we were informed that we couldn’t call ourselves Quantum Touch practitioners until we’d taken one other course (really, a series of) to the tune of over $1K.  That, and, during the class I realized that their ‘rules of engagement’ were bogus.  I mean, other people may ‘have’ to breathe in a specific pattern, etc, but that kind of stuff didn’t apply to me. It was one of those ‘just knowing’ things.  So, I just bagged it and started playing w/ it. 

I mean, I’d like to learn new things, but paying out the ass to do so just doesn’t make sense.  I mean,  folks want hundreds and thousands of dollars.  At one level, I get it.  I mean, I’ve chosen this as my means of income, too. But, really, it ain’t all that special.  Nifty, awe-inspiring, Awe-some, magical, miraculous, moving, transformational, and all that is Divine but it’s my belief that everyone (and I mean everyone) has access to this and can do it.  If that’s the case, setting ourselves above everyone else (in part, by charging so much), we’ve missed the entire message.
As to the ‘fear/figuring it out’, I know this is going to sound ‘tarded but…I really am not afraid.  Even the rather disconcerting moments are only just that. I just pay attention and watch (sometimes that’s not the right word!)  I think, again in part, that I’ve not been afraid in this process because I don’t feel the need to figure it out.  On the way to finding the path, at one point I had to just surrender–it was ugly and not directly related to this (or maybe it was).  That surrendering led to the recognition that everything really ‘just is’.  Trying to figure it out, define it, label it, make it try to fit in mine or others’ little ‘boxes of life’ just wasn’t going to work.  That said, I do have to say that there isn’t some level of curiosity:  why me?  why am I to do ‘this’?  What’s my larger role or significance in the world?  I have no freakin’ idea and, so far, no one else has been able to tell me. I’ve got enough on my plate trying to do what I call the ‘real world’ stuff like bring in some income, navigate moving in w/ the honey and his adult daughter, and keeping wood chopped so my feet don’t freeze!  🙂
As to the folks that come, they kind of fit into three categories:  one group is experiencing something uncomfortable physically–chronic/acute pain, diagnosis of disease, wanting to avoid or have something conjunctive with modern, Western medicine;  a second group comprises those experiencing mental health/emotional issues–chronic/acute, wanting to avoid meds/traditional therapy, or have something to work with the last two.  The third, and most interesting, is those who just show up.  Nothing in particular is bothering them, they just know they need to come.  Some don’t even know why but they’re drawn like a moth to a flame.
And, yes, I can sense the differences b/n presenting and root. In fact, given the moment to do so, clients can, too! Generally, though, we don’t even go there because I’m of the belief that despite one may be experiencing a crappy time of it, there is nothing ‘wrong’ with you.  Whatever ‘it’ is, is often released either spontaneously or over the course of a short period of time.  Physical and emotional ‘healing’ is often the most tangible, palpable, experience but…insert drumroll…the shifting and transformation that occurs within that is freakin’ amazing!  Forget shingles disappearing, knee cartilage regenerating, fibromyalgia and addictions disappearing.  That’s all neat and fine, but I can only describe it as people experiencing life differently.  For whatever reason and somehow, they become more open to ‘the good stuff’.  Life changes so ridiculously spectacularly!  Sometimes spontaneously, sometimes gradually but…Yeah, I don’t know how else to describe it!  Pretty cool, indeed!    For everyone, I sometimes get ‘messages’ to share, sometimes not.  Sometimes I’m ‘chatty Cathy’, sometimes not.  Sometimes it’s ‘me’ speaking, sometimes not (although I wonder of late how much what other people call me ‘channeling’ some Master (just plain ol’, regular dead dudes in my book) is really something just latent in me that I didn’t know about.  Either way,  I’ve learned not have any expectations whether with individuals or in a group.
If you don’t mind too much, I’d like to include our email exchange in my FB notes and in my blog.  A lot of people ask similar questions but not in the engaging way you do.  For some reason, this exchange with you has really allowed me to communicate a lot that goes on w/ me in a way I’ve not been comfortable doing before.  What do you think?  Is it okay if I use your name?
More later!  Really, I do hope so!  I’d like to learn how you got into this ‘magical mystery tour’ yourself, who you work with, and some of your experiences!

What do I do?

My boyfriend’s daughter asked him this past weekend what I do. As in what’s it called. Her mother apparently mentioned that it should be called something. As happens a lot of late, I said, “I dunno, really.” Not that I don’t sometimes think the same thing. That ‘it’ should be given a title so that people understand what I do in a word or phrase. Doctor, accounts manager, hedge fund analyst, therapist and the like. We ‘get’ those things.

I generally call myself a healer but that isn’t quite it because it is SO much more. I sometimes call myself a catalyst but that only seems to make sense to me, not others. I might consider calling myself a Transformer if it didn’t bring to mind robotic machines of the same name. Others call me healer, guide, teacher, counselor, coach, channeler, mystic, magic. I just really, honestly, don’t know what this should be called.

I often feel whenever we try to pigeon-hole this Gift with a specific title it’s enormity is lost. I’m not one to trademark it as others have. I find that rather annoying. Although it’s the most amazing, awesome, awe-inspiring, moving, transformational miracle-making, magical, mystical, WOOOOHOOOOOO experience, it really isn’t all that special. It just is.

I just do what I do. Or, rather, I’m a vehicle that something else works through and does through me. I breathe, get mySelf out of the way, and let the God/Source/Universe-thing works its wondrous-ness!

In the same manner that I don’t have a pretty certificate, the Universal HR manager hasn’t given this a nifty job title. There’s not job description except to ‘just do’.

And so I do.