Is remote energetic work effective?

A few days ago, I received an email related to the upcoming Empowered Empath class.  Tanya asked, “I guess the only question I have is- whether the energy work is as effective over Skype as it is in person? Do you feel that it is?”

My response was this:  “Remote work is just as effective (if not more so in some cases) as in-person work.”  That said, when we do remote ‘energetic’ work, there is no technology involved.  I find the use of it when doing energetic work like a leash.  So we connect etherically and no one is tethered to phone, speakers, video, etc.”

When I do remote work, it’s just like being with someone physically and often they can feel me physically–hands on head or heart, rubbing their back, patting their head.  I use the same intensity of focus (often more because I, too, can get distracted when the client isn’t with me.   And I move.  A lot.  I often dance around in the same manner I do when bringing Love on Fire to folks.  It often resembles something akin to a head-bobbing, dervish-twirling, energy-conducting voodoo priestess.  So being tethered to a camera or computer really confines me.

Sometimes remote work really is more effective than in-person work.  Those that are afraid to be truly open–open-hearted, open-minded, open emotionally, wide-freaking-open when around people often can do so in the comfort of their own home and pajamas surrounded by their cats.

That said, I actually prefer hands-on work.  Because, for me, this work is about about relationship.  It may be only three hours at a shot but, for many, it’s the most intimate they’ve ever had.  For me, the magic that happens, the ‘real’ opening that occurs when my physical hand touches someone’s heart (or hips or knees or belly or feet or ears or head or back or…) cannot be duplicated remotely.

And, although people have tangible, worldview-shifting experiences remotely, in my opinion (based solely on what I’m told) they aren’t necessarily implemented in the same fashion (if at all) as if they are coached through interpretations, guided through their own messages and mental/bodily responses as can happen when we are face to face.

As far as I know people I’ve worked with remotely have had visitations of yours truly but haven’t had the transformative (if folks choose to transform with it, btw) physical & visual interactions with Jesus or Manasa or Running Rabbit or folks from their lineages.  I know they’ve (okay, only one person) experienced a string of multiple orgasms as a form of released sexual trauma for themselves and a string of matrilineal women.  But, since I’m not with them, I’m not sure if it’s a full-on-let’s-get-pentacostal-up-in-here bodily release of trauma or just a ‘regular ol” popping off of something specific.  I do know that knees & hips have no longer needed surgery, suicidality has vanished, shoulders can be used again, eyesight (and foresight) have improved, ulcers have healed, urinary tract infections disappeared, kidney stones & breast lumps have dissolved.

And, usually, when I work with people remotely, it’s easier for them to ditch their own responsibility, disengage from the work, and otherwise not follow through–particularly if the work is given for free.   When that happens I just wait for them to return.

Either way, remotely or within physical proximity here’s what this sometimes feels like.  Please give me and yourself the courtesy of closing other open tabs & windows, then connect to your breath and click play.

 

Advertisements

A Taste of my own Medicine, Self-Worth & Pissin’ People Off

Every now and again, I feel the need to get a taste of my own medicine.  When I do that, I click around and find out when and where Panache Desai is going to be.  This time it was Black Mountain, North Carolina.  What’s little road trip?  Only seven hours between here and there, right?  Yup.  Something like that.  Seven hours to drive for an energetic ass-kicking.

Let me divert a bit with a little back-story. I first saw Panache about a year ago.  He ‘accidentally’ showed up on my computer screen.  Riiiiight.  You know how I feel about ‘accidents’, right?  I knew in less than an instant that I needed him like I needed air.  I drove like a bat out of hell for 14 hours to St. Petersburg, FL, to the Unity Church there to see him.  I sat. Looked around at the eclectic crowd and tried not to fidget (remember how I have to practice patience?).  When he began speaking I almost fell over.  He was using the same language, the exact same words I did while working, the language that others thought I channeled.  I was brilliantly relieved and tickled that I wasn’t alone.  Then, he started doing his thing.  He wandered around the room touching folks and when he finally got to me, I was just ‘struck’.  That’s the only way I know how to describe it except to add that in one moment, in less than a second, I just ‘knew’.  I knew everything.  I knew that what I’d begun doing a few months beforehand had little to do with healing torn rotator cuffs and a lot with changing the world.  All in a flash of light (although that doesn’t quite describe it) and presence that moved in and through me in a split second.  And, then, it was all I could do to not interrupt the still, meditative manner that others had settled into without laughing hysterically!  Guffawing, snarfing, snorting…the whole shebang.

The mystical experiences clients had been describing to me finally made sense.  Those may have made sense but the “holy shit” factor remained at the forefront of my brain all night.  The 14 hour drive back to Virginia was filled with self-conversation that went something like this: “Oh. Shit.”  “Holy CRAP!”  “HOLY crap!” “Whatthehellisthatallabout!”  “Crappity, crap, crap, crap!!”  “Damn, there’s responsibility here!” “Now what the fuck do I do with that bit of information?”   Enough that the chatter sent me straight to the computer before the bathroom (after 14 hrs on the road, no less) to send an email that said, essentially, “Holy crap.  Now what the hell do I do?”  The response, bless him, was, “Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

Moving back on track to this summer’s trip.  Only 7 hours, not 14. And I knew what I was getting into.  Didn’t feel the ‘need’ but wanted to feel what others feel through me.  A reminder, really, of what we’re about. As far as I know, he and I are the only ones that work in this strange and usual fashion (odds are, though, that if there are two of us, there are bound to be more around the globe).  What’s a state line or two between us, I thought?  So I went.

Hauled ass (safely, of course!) through the heart of Virginia into some of North Carolina’s finest spaces.  The two-hour session on Friday evening was nice.  I was tired and it was a great way to end a day of travel.  Just a nice energetic high of the warm, fuzzy kind.   On Saturday, though, initially it wasn’t.  I found myself annoyed.  Annoyed that I was listening to myself. Really annoyed.  Remember, we really do speak the same language–damn near word for word.  It was only toward the end of the day that the smack upside the head occurred.  The universal, “Yeah.  You.  You big dummy.  You ought to listen to yourself!”

A week or so before I made the run to NC, I met with a really awesome woman from Northern Virginia.  During the course of our time together I looked at her and said, “Quit being a pussy.”  (Yes, I really did. I don’t have to make any of this up, kids. These aren’t therapy sessions.  And, seriously, wouldn’t you love to hear your therapist say that?).  After listening to what Panache had to say toward the end of Saturday, I realized I’d been speaking to myself as well. I’d been settling for being a pussy.  Preaching on one hand while my other hand chose to hold me back.   Although in some respects I have behaved fearlessly, in one key aspect I had chosen not to.

Because I am ridiculously  human, I’d held onto a couple of key beliefs about myself that others had sold me on.  The primary of those (the one addressed now) was that I didn’t have value. Grounded in years of ‘stuff’, I’d held onto that notion.  And, subsequently, have lived recently as if I was of no value, as if my needs and desires, and, yes, my Gift, had no value.  I’d dealt with it at one relational level but not at another.  Silly girl.  Don’t know what I was thinking.  Actually, that’s not quite true.  What I was thinking was, “Oh.  I can’t do that. They won’t like me/come to me/value me/want me (think Sally Field) if I do …”.  In this case, ‘it’ was if I charge for my services what I need to have my own needs met.  As if it were perfectly okay for me to provide what I do for others and martyr myself in the process.

It is no longer okay for me to suffer.  It’s no longer okay for me to choose between putting gas in the car and going to the dentist. It’s no longer okay for me to be afraid of what others think of my need to take care of myself.  It is not okay for me to be afraid of every noise my car makes.  It is perfectly okay for me to want underwear that fits.  So, I’ve raised my rates.  I’ve raised them to help support both me and those who can’t afford me at any rate.  I do a lot of work for no fee at all and when I do, it’s done with love.  I choose to do that for those in need who have limited or no income because I fully believe what I call the Gift is of all of us and for all of us.   I have previously set myself up and created limitations that needn’t exist because I was afraid.  No mas.   I have desires to work with veterans groups, pay for advertising, develop a retreat center, and live on my own again.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.

There are those who will say, “Oh, there she goes. Just like all these other healer-types.  All about the money.”  Others have already come right out and said, “You can’t do that!  You can’t charge so much for something that people don’t understand!” “You can’t expect people to pay you for miracles.”   You can’t, you can’t, you can’t.  And, we all know how I feel about that.  So be it. That’s their problem, not mine.  It is up to others to decide what the value of the Gift is for them and to find the courage to say things like, “I really can’t afford more than the $60 I used pay you.”   Those who don’t pay me do that every day and, then, pay with loving kindness, chocolate cake, garden goodies, and the willingness to be open to themselves & others.

A good part of what I teach is grounded in deciding (see above). Deciding how we want to feel.  How we want to experience life.  I’ve finally decided that I want to live freely, without self-imposed limitations.  I’ve got plans and am creating a way to make them happen. I am worthy.

So how does this healing stuff work, exactly?

A woman who called the other day to see about scheduling an appointment asked that question.   She’s feeling like one hot mess and wanted to know if I could help.   She’d heard about me through local gossip (free marketing, anyone?) and wanted to know how this “stuff” works, “exactly”.

I dunno exactly.  Here’s what I do know.

There is nothing wrong with you.

You may feel all sorts of things.  You may feel afraid, anxious, awkward, addicted, alone, angry, compulsive, impulsive, enraged, exhausted, depressed, downtrodden, delusional, disorganized, dissociated, lonely, spent, sleep-drived, sad, stuck, annoyed, paranoid, grief-stricken, spent, out-of-whack, wonky, weird, panic-stricken, pissed off, pissed upon, distressed, disturbed, dis-ordered. disconnected, discombobulated, dis-eased, uneasy, uninterested in everything and everyone around you, moody, mad, masochistic, irritated, irrational, inattentive, hypervigilant, hyperactive, startled, sad, guilty, traumatized, spaced-out, stunted, stunned, stressed, suicidal, rage-filled, and, frankly, just generally fucked up.  You’re dealing with some serious shit. It’s your crap and yours alone to try to figure out.

But these things, these feelings are not you.  They are of you, sure.  They are sometimes of others (figure that one out, eh?).   You are dealing with them (or notsomuch as is often case) in the best way you know how.  You feel these things. They suck.  They make you feel like you suck.  However, you are not them.  There is nothing wrong with you. And you do not suck.

Once you know that, once you decide that, you will recognize all the tools you need to heal, to release these feelings that are holding you back, are within you.  It’s simple really.  Not necessarily easy. But simple.  I say that it is simple but not necessarily easy for a couple reasons.  First, frankly, we get used to these feelings.  As uncomfortable as they may be, they often become our comfort zone.  They  help shape our day, our relationships, our responses to life-stuff.  We get used to them and like having at least one reliable thing in the midst of the fuckedupedness.  Others get used to them.  And, despite all the blah-blah about change being good, life being change, a lot of folks don’t know how to and don’t want to.  Change, that is.   Again, though, there is nothing inherently wrong with that.  Some people say it’s wrong, assign it the ‘wrong’ label, but really, it just is.  The second goes back a few sentences to ‘others get used to them’.

What other people think or expect of us has an impact on us that we often don’t realize.  Others might not be comfortable or understand our erratic behavior, frightening mood swings, inability to move farther than the couch, or need for the booze.  However, folks at least have a glimpse of what is going on if we say, “I have PTSD” or “I’m depressed.”  The labels connect them to a definition or label that may not entirely explain your experience but can lessen their fear and open their hearts.   It helps them define you.  They, too, become comfortable in that and become afraid of your own change because they face being in a place of fear again.

There is no need to be afraid.  You have all of the answers within you.  And, it’s time to get right with you.

Same client said, “That’s such a freakin’ cliche, Ingrid. I don’t buy that.”  Well, it may be a cliche.  It may be tired.  You may be sick of hearing it but odds are you’re hearing it for a reason.  This cliche is true.  You can’t fully do for others until you can deal with you. All of your glorious, beautiful fuckedupedness.

Client says, “What the hell do you know about this?”  Me: “Been there. Done that.”

I first tried to kill myself sometime while I was in elementary school (maybe before?). I won’t go into details about that part of my story because I don’t want to hurt others but I decided that I didn’t want to be in this world because something wasn’t right.  It wasn’t right that I was afraid all the time.  It wasn’t right that I hurt all the time.   However, as most kids do, I survived.  Sort of.  I mean, I continued to breathe.  After the attempt and through the next few years.

Then I got older and attempted again as a teenager.  And again.  And each time I survived still trying to understand why I didn’t fit in, why I was still here, why no one heard me and why no one could see what was happening.  When all those crappy feelings that I didn’t know how to deal with me caught up with me as an adult, things stepped up a notch. I worked myself into the ground, I became an ‘expert’, I worked hard, partied harder, and hit a brick wall in 2004.  I hit that brick wall with all the force of a Mack truck doing 110.  Bertha was in the mouth more than once, finger on the trigger more than once. I took medical leave from my Probation job after my own physician said, “Well, Ingrid, we call this depression” in only the way a brilliant, sarcastic mind who knows that you know what’s going on can do.

In all of this, I knew things were really, really, incredibly messed up beyond description. FUBARed beyond FUBAR. And as I tried to figure out why I was here, what the heck was going on with me, why I was ready to blow the back of my head off but didn’t really want to, I had to explain it over and over to people.  And each person said something slightly different: “You’re Depressed.”  “You’re Bi-Polar.” “You are really ill.” “You are what we call a PTSDer.  A Complex PTSDer (as if that made it all the more special).”

After two shrinks, four therapists, I finally decided I wasn’t what they thought I was.  I might have been feeling whacked out in more ways than one but I knew that each time someone else tried to pigeon-hole me as a way of understanding me, they got it wrong.

As soon as I decided I was a beautiful disaster that could fix my own-damn-self (dammit!), things changed.  Immediately.  IBS symptoms gone after I decided that caffeine, wine, and nicotine were the causes. Cut those out, cut out IBS.  Cut out the suicidal ideation because I didn’t really want to die.  Sometimes felt like it but didn’t really want to.  Left the husband that I’d talked about leaving for over a year within two weeks, moved 1700 miles to one of the most spectacular places on the planet, and have watched the beautiful disaster morph into a wondrous woman (if I do say so my own-damn-self!) who’s been given an amazing Gift.

I have been there.  Walked the darkest path, sunk into the deepest depths and thrived!! I am the most blessed of all people.  And I am grateful beyond words that I was kept here to be able to do what I do.

This “stuff” work because when you are ready, when you decide that it’s time to let go of all that  holds you back and no longer serves you, the tools come to you clearly.  I am simply one of them.  When I am with you and I breathe and connect to the Divine (however you define that) , I am a tool, a facilitator that allows what you need to release to just go.  It’s that simple.  And, yes, this part really is that easy.

When those things that no longer serve you leave; when you’re not holding on to them, you begin to experience the world and all of its challenges in a different manner.  Those emotions? You still feel them but they don’t define you.  You feel them, acknowledge them and let them go.  As you do, you grow. As you grow into the new experience of life, those things that do serve you just come to you.  In magnificent ways.    This is the healing process.  Maybe I should call it growth process instead, no?

When you’re ready, just get to me.

“I’m careful about miraculous stuff, but for a very real, straight up, down to earth gal, she shares a remarkable undefinable gift with her clients.”  Sandy C, Delaplane, VA (09/17/09)

What the…? How the…?

This note is in response to a few people asking me how all of this new ‘stuff’, this healing gift came to be. The question generally comes from those who knew me ‘way back when’ and the idea of who I was in the past meshing with the new just doesn’t seem to connect.

How did all of this come about? The short answer is, “I don’t have any idea.” Truly. I don’t know why I was chosen. I don’t know why now is the time I was let in on it. I’ve not been on a spiritual quest like so many others. I’ve had no desire to travel to far-off mountains to meditate with yogis, go to church (although I have). I have, at times, bought book (after book after book) looking for ‘something’. For answers to questions I didn’t really have and realizing, “Oh. Wait. I knew that.”

Like others, my now has grown from my story. Like many other folks called Lightworkers mine wasn’t particularly pretty. I walked through my fire early and often. And I dealt with the fallout in a myriad of ways. Some healthy. Some notsomuch. Bouts of depression, diagnoses of PTSD, attempts at therapy, burnout at work (more than once) coupled with some pretty amazing people in my life–some who only popped in briefly to lead me here–have, well, led me here.

When, despite hearing that I was ‘just damaged goods’ all too often, I decided there was nothing freakin’ wrong with me, there was, magically, nothing wrong with me. I took other people’s labels, gave them the proverbial finger, and decided “I’m not the next of them, I am the first of me” (line borrowed from Hoobastank). The timing of this coincided with a trip back to VA in September ’07 that ultimately opened the door to my permanent move back here a couple of months later.

That ‘trigger’ led to me “seeing” things differently. Amazingly more different than I’d experienced life before. My awareness of all things changed. I changed. Since then, I’ve just ‘known’ stuff. Amazing stuff. Stuff that I, well, don’t know. And, somehow, when I lost my job two Mays ago, a book crossed my desk. I’m not sure how I got it (outside of the obvious: Amazon!). I don’t know why I would have picked out a book called Quantum Touch and ordered it. But I did. I don’t know what led me to spend 250 smackers on a Quantum Touch class because I griped and moaned to myself about it. Others reminded me that I’d just been asked to resign and didn’t have an income. I mean, $250!! However, I did. And I was shown why I was led there. My ‘aha’ was an “OH!”

And then it all started to fall into place.

And answers, feelings, knowing, energy in a bazillion forms from outside of me began pouring in. Have you ever seen August Rush, the not-so-good (a stinker, really) movie about a musical prodigy who sees and hears music in everything–light, wind, leaves, sounds of the city? Well, that’s how it is with me. This healing energy, this connection to the Divine is like that for me; everywhere, every moment, every in-between breath where miracles live. And, as with the development of all things magical and odd in my life, I’ve no idea where it’s taking me. Or where it’s taking us. I just know that this is a Gift to be shared with everyone and that it’s what I’m meant to do.

I hope that answers some questions and I hope it’s a door to a wider conversation between all of us.

Shifting life and livelihood

Profound shifts in my life have occurred in the past few months.    Personal choices coupled with the change in our economy led to a lot of free time during the course of the last year.  Time that would have otherwise been spent devoted to other people’s problems or projects became time focused on me.  My needs, my wants, my way of life, and, my purpose:  the reason for being and surviving.

As I asked to be told and demanded to be shown my path, I began to move beyond merely noticing the synchronicities in my life to actually paying attention to and following them.

Although this process began long before I can actually remember, I noticed it a few years ago when I had my “God at the kitchen sink” moment.  What quickly followed that was the leaving of a husband and the comfort of the “known”, moving 1700 miles away, becoming unemployed and involved in another not-so-wise relationship, and humbly visiting the local department of social services office to ask for food stamps.

If, at any time during the course of this process (or before-hand) had anyone asked me if I’d consider myself a spiritual healer, I would have looked at them in the manner that implied a third head had sprouted from their neck!

However, truth now be told, I am a spiritual or energetic healer.  Funny that.  It took being in a place where I could hear what I needed to and engage with myself in a way I otherwise would not have to come to this odd and interesting place.   In finally finding it and developing an understanding of it–this new role I have in the world–other shifts (or gifts) have occurred as well.

Although I’ve always been intuitive at some level (I’m actually one who believes we all are), the role my intuition plays in my life has increased dramatically.  I see differently.  My physical vision is better.   There is a clarity of sight that is mirrored in my other ‘vision’ as well.  I speak differently.  I act differently.  And, according to a good friend, even my smile is different.  When I expressed that I was having a hard time articulating what changes were occurring in and around me, Mark said, “You’ve gone from being happy to finding joy.”  And, that, folks, sums it up.

I’m still an adventure-craving, travel-needing, argument-instigating, red wine-loving, occasional cigar-smoking smart-ass and firecracker full of life (and, occasionally, shit–I admit it!).  However, I’ve now recognized and begun to use what others saw in me years ago.

To facilitate the growth that continues to occur within and around me, Oliphant Consultants as it has existed will cease to exist.  I have learned an enormous amount from colleagues who became mentors and friends.  I am grateful for each opportunity that has presented itself and lessons learned from each project and program.

I will continue to support the communities with which I’ve developed a particular affinity for: law enforcement and other first responders, courts and corrections personnel as well as military servicemen/women.  However, I will be doing so in a different, more beneficial, manner for all of us.